This Hour Has 22 Minutes at the All Star Game

If you have not seen the footage of it, it's worth a look.



T Tags: This+Hour+has+22+Minutes NHL+All+Star+Game 2009 video

Waiting For Stanley Pics of 2008

I just went through each month's archive and picked my favorite pics and / or stories.

JANUARY


















What better way to start off a year than with the 2nd Outdoor Game. It goes to a shootout and Crosby scores the winner. He then skates by the cameras behind the glass and screams like a girl.

















If there was ever a good time to be a mascot this was it. Pam Anderson had also flashed a Canucks jersey on the Jay Leno show weeks earlier.

FEBRUARY

















Richard Zednik gets a cyclone kick to the throat from a Sabres player and bleeds like a stuck pig. That was scary stuff. Good to see Zeddy back.

MARCH


















Oh yeah, 2 tix to the Nucks-Flames game as the season was winding down. Turned out that the Canucks spanked the Lames that night and Linden scored the last 2 goals of his career. Am I lucky or what?

APRIL























Naslund accomplished a lot in the stats category playing as a Canuck. But when he complained about the defensive system and left for Manhattan my feeling definitely were not hurt. Unfortunately, then Gillis would sign almost a Naslund clone in Pavol Demitra in the summer.

MAY























The Red Wings were so good in the playoffs... it inspired me to do up a Photoshop of Zettersyuk's heads on a once-dominant tag team in the WWE, Demolition.

JULY

















A tabloid writer in the Swedish Paper DN writes that Sundin is going to Vancouver. I caught this article late that night and posted it. Woke up the next day and the whole country was in disarray over it. Sundin's agent quickly squashed that rumor. Still though...I wonder how that reporter is feeling right now. Like Jesus perhaps?

JULY

















The impatience and boredom of waiting for Sundin prompted me to do up this PS image of Sundin in Vancouver.

AUGUST























Once again, boredom plays a role. Notice how baby Sundin pissed on Gillis? I really didn't think he would choose Vancouver...but I sure as hell wanted him to.

SEPTEMBER



















How many of you dinks mocked Wellwood when he first signed here? This image was just me taking a funny stab at Woody as well. Yeah, he had a weight problem, but he sure has been a big comeback story for the Canucks this season.

OCTOBER













Luongo is not allowed to wear the C on his jersey during games, but that didn't stop him from wearing it for the team photo.

NOVEMBER

















After somewhat of a shakey October, Luongo turns into a mighty force in November. Mighty like the Emperor Palpatine. Days after this Photoshop creation Luongo's groin was destroyed like the Death Star.

DECEMBER























I don't know about you, but when Sundin declared Vancouver as his choice I jumped up and down like Orphan Annie. Only difference is that I actually have real parents.

T Tags: Waiting+For+Stanley pics Photoshop Year+of+2008 review

Waiting For Stan Lee

It took me a while to get over my anger over this mockery sent to me by Mr. Ollivier from Canucks.com. Now I have finally decided to post the image because I had a good laugh over it after I hunted down Mr. O and killed him :)
Clever stuff.







If you don't know who Stan Lee is...then you are not cool like us! Ha!

T Tags: Waiting+For+Stan+Lee Photoshop Canucks.com

Always check your kid's homework...

A friend sent me this a couple of days ago. I just had to post it!




















T Tags: mommy+kids+drawing adult+humor

Canucks Poems

Yesterday some CDC guy posted a Canucks acronym that wasn't all that impressive. While he got hacked for it, myself and a few others decided to throw in some of our own poetic entries.

Mine was (with minimal thought included):

There once was a guy named Nazzy
The Canuck fans thought he was snazzy
They gave him the "C"
His career took a pee
Yet Glen Sather still finds him jazzy.

But GreyOwl 2 put up a a pretty good one:

Sometime in the Near Future

The outlook was in question as Vancouver took the ice
And just about as certain as a rolling of the dice
But with Gilis moving forward, and AV doing the same
An optimistic hope had filled the patrons of the game

So when Bernier scored one early and Pyatt drained one too
The fans were all delighted that their team was up by two
And Shorty was enraptured, and Tom a giggling nerd
Whose head damn near exploded when Demitra roofed a third

And Luongo was unconscious as he blocked and dove and slid
Preventing every shot on goal like he was playing kids
And Mitchell hammered everyone who dared to test his reach
While Daniel, Hank and Sami ended up with three points each

And at the final buzzer, with the score at eight to none
Mike Gillis looked down fondly on the work that he had done
"The game was not too bad", he said, "a little fast and loose,
about what I expected from the Manitoba Moose."

I laughed, anyway.

Ah yes, this is what happens when hockey nuts have to endure the long off season.

T Tags: Canucks+Poem CDC

Stanley in Love

Uh......

This image is from last year I believe. Anyone know where it was taken?

T Tags: Stanley+Cup Drunk chick

Break.com clip of the week: Unnecessary Censorship Sesame Street Edition

This is wrong in a Michael Jackson kind of way, but you need to just have a certain kind of sense of humor. I love these Jimmy Kimmel segments.


Unnecessary Censorship Sesame Street Edition - Watch more free videos


T Tags: Jimmy+Kimmel Unnecessary+Censorship Sesame+Street+Edition video Break.com

Miss March

Definition of a bad shift

Whenever you feel that you've had the worst day at work ever, remember the lady in the following clip.


Waitress Falls Through Window


I also found a clip of Scott Walker on YouTube about what he did before he got into hockey. It's worth a look!

On top of that, I found some footage of Derek Boogaard as a kid hurting himself. Listen to his mother laughing at him. No wonder why he's such an ass!

T Tags: Break.com YouTube Waitress+window Scott+Walker+headbutt

Canucks-Kings Review

Well, my pregame wasn't far off. The Canucks actually took the night off though, so I will do the same thing with the game review. I'm not going to waste any time analyzing a stinker.

"It hurts when I move, it hurts when I breath," Luongo said of his ribs. He took a good shot in the cage in the Pens game. He is day-to-day. Thanks to Mr. Bucholtz for the tip.

Don't be blaming Curtis Sanford for this loss. I think the Kings' Derek Armstrong said it best:

"Every team has a good first and second goalie, but I don't think it would have mattered who was in goal tonight," said Derek Armstrong, who scored for the Kings. "Sanford didn't have much of a chance on any of our goals. We just had a solid team effort. They're a good hockey team, and we battled them all night."

A stinker. So with that in mind I leave you with this:


This is a joke that was told on some radio station last year, using NHL names to tell a hilarious story. I'm sure not all of you have heard it. This humor is a bit dirty, so you've been warned!

---

So our day begins at the golf course where I have been battling in
the Lindy Ruff all day. We call it quits and head into the club house
for some Bob Beers and some Kelly Buchburgers. After crushing
many drinks we decided to hit the local night club to check out
some Carl Dykhuis and some Joe Nieuwendykes.
I noticed that I was getting eyeballed by some Neil Sheehy and she had a bit of a
Doug Weight problem. A real Jamie McCOWan. I thought to myself
"I can't stoop this Patrick Marleau". She wanted to take off, and I
wasn't sticking around for the ugly lights to come on, so I paid the
Rick Tabaracci and we hopped in a Tomas Kaberle.
I took her back to my Phil Housley where things got a little hot and steamy. She geared down and not to my surprise her Keri Taco was a bit Joe Reekie and Jason Wooley. I decided she needed a Bill Barber, pulled out my Donald Brashears and shaved her hair diaper down to
the Randy Wood.
She then proceeded to trim my Harry Snepsts and the bush around my Pekka Rautakeileo. I then reacted quickly and popped her Don Cherry but she was too Ken Dryden, so I flipped
her over, grabbed my Haken Loob and threw it in her Curtis Brown with no Tie Domi.
After a few pumps she started to complain that she was too Marty Mcsorley to go on. So I snapped and quickly showed her to the Daryl Sydor and told her maybe I'll call her
Brendon Morrow. Needless to say she was Grant Fuhrious.
The next morning I had the worst Darren Puppa and I was Valeri Zelepukin all day. And two weeks later I noticed a Travis Green drip oozing from my Mike Babcock. So I booked an appointment with Dr. Randy Gregg and got a Corey Schwab.
But that isn't the end of the story!
A month later I woke up and saw Garth Snow outside. The weather man said it was going to be a 30% chance of a Theo Fleury. My car wouldn't start so I had to borrow my roommate's car. It's not as Chris Osgoode as mine and it takes a Roberto Luongo time to start, but I was stuck. When I went in his room to get the keys, there was that same Rick Brodsky with my roommate! She was sucking on his Mike Peca while Esa Tikannen his temperature with her finger. I
said "Buddy, don't do it! That Butch Goring has the fans clapping! I think she picked it up in Paul Kariya!" But he wouldn't listen to Marty Reasoner.
Finally I said "keep up the Manny Legace", and ran out.

---

To hear the audio of the joke on the radio, check out Atomic Hockey.

Thank you and good night. Wednesday's game against the Ducks will be better I can almost guarantee that.

PS: Hey, how about those Leafs? They are learning team defence. Hell just froze over.

T Tags: Canucks Kings Review Stinker Luongo Sanford joke

Monday sucks

Feeling a little rough around the edges today? Gloomy because it's "back to work"? Well, just remember, someone is always worse off than you are.

Moose loves Buffalo Statue...too much / Canucks-Kings Preview

Couldn't resist. Someone sent me this today.

Damage Report below,
We need to tell you that there was some damage to the statue of the
American Bison in front of the house in Big Sky. We did attempt to
prevent the damage, throwing stones at, and hitting, the attacker. The
attacker could not be dissuaded, and kept up his assault for eight
hours. The incident even caused a traffic situation in front of the house.

The damage consisted of:
1) The loss of about two inches from the left horn. The broken piece is
on the work bench in the garage.
2) Hoof scratches on the side of the Bison.
3) Some chips in the right rear hoof.
4) Blood stains behind the Bison.

---

So, on to the game tonight between the Kings and Canucks. An interesting scenario here is that the Kings have lost 3 straight road games. The Canucks are 1-3-0 at home this season.
The highest scoring Canuck so far is Daniel Sedin with 8 points. Anze Kopitar leads the Kings with 11 points.
Both teams are coming off losses tonight, so it should be a spirited affair, so they say.
The Canucks won 3 of 4 games against the Kings last season, but the Kings have gotten much better on paper.
I picked the Kings to win on Facebook's sports betting application, so I had better stay with that. I say they win 4-2 tonight.
So I'm pessimistic.....suck it! I don't even have a great valid reason to pick the Kings winning. It's just a hunch.
It will be a treat to watch Cammalleri, Frolov and Kopitar though.

T Tags: Moose humping buffalo Canucks Kings Preview

Miss 604 Jumps Ship

I have received flack for being a Leafs fan from members of the Crazy Canucks Podcast in the past. So when one of them puts up a pic of herself in a Bruins jersey, I steal the image, post about it, and never again take any flack from her for cheering for a team other than Vancouver!
Just buggin' Rebecca... I was just shocked is all. What's next, John in a Flyers jersey? JJ in a Habs jersey? Alanah in a Wings jersey? (Whoop, been done already! Sorry for resurfacing a bad memory from your past Alanah....)

T Tags: Miss+604 Bruins jersey ship-jumping

Roberto Luongo reveals darkest secrets to TSN / King Salming on OTR

What a hilarious clip. Known as a mystery man by his teammates, Luongo confides in James Duthie. Check it out here.

---

It was an absolute treat to see (one of my heroes) Borje Salming on Off The Record last night. Even Rick Vaive for that matter. But I can't say I like that arrogant little puke Adam Bennett though.
The topics covered were intriguing. I found it interesting that Salming thinks that
Niklas Lidstrom is not only the best Swedish player in the NHL today, but the best European. Not sure I agree there.
He also said that Mats Sundin has nothing left to prove at the NHL level. That was met with backlash by the panel and myself included. Sundin needs to lead the Leafs to Glory, regardless of the team he is surrounded by. That is no excuse. The Leafs have had some good teams during Sundin's tenure in Toronto.
Anyway, a great show. Check it out here.

T Tags: Luongo TSN interview Borje+Salming+on+Off+The+Record

Black Hurricanes

Well, I hate politics. But this joke was sent to me today that I couldn't pass up in regards to Sheila Jackson Lee's (U.S. Rep- Houston) comments last year about Hurricane names not be very racially fair because black people's names are never used. Anyways, a pathetic and irrelevant issue, so here is the joke:

A black congresswoman (Sheila Jackson Lee) reportedly complained
that the names of hurricanes are all Caucasian sounding
names. She would prefer some names that reflect
African-American culture such as: Chamiqua, Tanisha,
Woeisha, Shaqueal, and Jamal. She would also like the
weather reports to be broadcast in Language that street
people can understand because one of the problems in New
Orleans is that regular folks couldn't understand the
seriousness of the situation due to the racially biased
language of the weather report.

I can hear it now: A weatherman in Houston reports...

"Wazzup, mutha-fukkas! Hehr-i-cane Chamiqua be headin' fo'
yo ass like Leroy on a crotch rocket! Bitch be a category
fo'! So grab yo' chirren, yo' Ho, be leavin yo crib, and
head fo' da nearest guv'ment office fo yo FREE shit!"

---

Hey, I have a legit complaint: I want to see more white people on BET and less black people/rap/hip hop music on Much Music. Is that a fair complaint? Haha. I'm only half serious there.

If I offended anyone with this humor, I don't apologize. I find Mizzuz Lee offensive, myself, after doing some research on her. Whatever. I hate politics.

T Tags: Sheila+Jackson+Lee Hurricane joke
Black+Hurricane+joke

For the boys

Well, I guess some Leafs and Canadiens fans can be friends after all.


T TAgs: Leafs Canadiens body paint

"I Wanna Be a Pop Star" Comic video

I think this music video pretty much sums up the pathetic pop star industry nowadays. Hope you get a good laugh out of it.




T Tags: I+Wanna+Be+a+Pop+Star video humor Youtube

Fun jersey concepts

The RBK jersey unveilings are pretty much done now, but that isn't stoppin Chris at NHL Tournament of Logos from posting material. His latest are mockups of currnet and past jerseys that are completely worth a look and laugh. I see Pfizer is up to his usual tricks as well. Go check it out.

T Tags: NHL jerseys humor Photoshop NHL+Tournament+of+Logos

Gordie Howe stalker uncovered

Well, crazy stories inspire me to do crazy photoshops. Hope this cracks you up a little.

T Tags: Gordie+Howe stalker neighbor unveiled humor

Streaking isn't always worth it

Just ask this guy....after his brain unscrambles and he figures how to put his clothes back on.


T Tags: Streaking Football+game nailed tackled destroyed