Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Canucks-Kings Review

Well, my pregame wasn't far off. The Canucks actually took the night off though, so I will do the same thing with the game review. I'm not going to waste any time analyzing a stinker.

"It hurts when I move, it hurts when I breath," Luongo said of his ribs. He took a good shot in the cage in the Pens game. He is day-to-day. Thanks to Mr. Bucholtz for the tip.

Don't be blaming Curtis Sanford for this loss. I think the Kings' Derek Armstrong said it best:

"Every team has a good first and second goalie, but I don't think it would have mattered who was in goal tonight," said Derek Armstrong, who scored for the Kings. "Sanford didn't have much of a chance on any of our goals. We just had a solid team effort. They're a good hockey team, and we battled them all night."

A stinker. So with that in mind I leave you with this:


This is a joke that was told on some radio station last year, using NHL names to tell a hilarious story. I'm sure not all of you have heard it. This humor is a bit dirty, so you've been warned!


So our day begins at the golf course where I have been battling in
the Lindy Ruff all day. We call it quits and head into the club house
for some Bob Beers and some Kelly Buchburgers. After crushing
many drinks we decided to hit the local night club to check out
some Carl Dykhuis and some Joe Nieuwendykes.
I noticed that I was getting eyeballed by some Neil Sheehy and she had a bit of a
Doug Weight problem. A real Jamie McCOWan. I thought to myself
"I can't stoop this Patrick Marleau". She wanted to take off, and I
wasn't sticking around for the ugly lights to come on, so I paid the
Rick Tabaracci and we hopped in a Tomas Kaberle.
I took her back to my Phil Housley where things got a little hot and steamy. She geared down and not to my surprise her Keri Taco was a bit Joe Reekie and Jason Wooley. I decided she needed a Bill Barber, pulled out my Donald Brashears and shaved her hair diaper down to
the Randy Wood.
She then proceeded to trim my Harry Snepsts and the bush around my Pekka Rautakeileo. I then reacted quickly and popped her Don Cherry but she was too Ken Dryden, so I flipped
her over, grabbed my Haken Loob and threw it in her Curtis Brown with no Tie Domi.
After a few pumps she started to complain that she was too Marty Mcsorley to go on. So I snapped and quickly showed her to the Daryl Sydor and told her maybe I'll call her
Brendon Morrow. Needless to say she was Grant Fuhrious.
The next morning I had the worst Darren Puppa and I was Valeri Zelepukin all day. And two weeks later I noticed a Travis Green drip oozing from my Mike Babcock. So I booked an appointment with Dr. Randy Gregg and got a Corey Schwab.
But that isn't the end of the story!
A month later I woke up and saw Garth Snow outside. The weather man said it was going to be a 30% chance of a Theo Fleury. My car wouldn't start so I had to borrow my roommate's car. It's not as Chris Osgoode as mine and it takes a Roberto Luongo time to start, but I was stuck. When I went in his room to get the keys, there was that same Rick Brodsky with my roommate! She was sucking on his Mike Peca while Esa Tikannen his temperature with her finger. I
said "Buddy, don't do it! That Butch Goring has the fans clapping! I think she picked it up in Paul Kariya!" But he wouldn't listen to Marty Reasoner.
Finally I said "keep up the Manny Legace", and ran out.


To hear the audio of the joke on the radio, check out Atomic Hockey.

Thank you and good night. Wednesday's game against the Ducks will be better I can almost guarantee that.

PS: Hey, how about those Leafs? They are learning team defence. Hell just froze over.

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6 Comments:

At December 11, 2007 at 8:01 AM , Anonymous Temujin said...

If the Canucks miss out on the division crown (or heaven forbid, miss the playoffs) by two points, I will look back to this game and roll my eyes in disgust.

Can you give me any reason why we are still employing Matt Cooke? Any reason at all?

 
At December 11, 2007 at 8:02 AM , Anonymous Temujin said...

Oh, and I've heard you enjoy the occasional Corey Schwab.

 
At December 11, 2007 at 8:11 AM , Anonymous Temujin said...

And since I'm wasting time before actually doing any work this morning, guess which team has given up the most goals. this season?

Team Defence, my ass! :-)

 
At December 11, 2007 at 11:49 AM , Blogger Zanstorm said...

Ha! Well, take the stats from their current win streak and do a comparison to their overall stats. Nothing says good stats like a winning streak.
Now I'm wondering if this Leafs team has actually turned a corner, or if this is all just temporary. The Canucks were no better under Crawford, and then Viggy got them believing is a system that works.

Dude, I like Matt Coke, I mean Cooke. Just not at his current price tag.

I think Taylor Pyatt is currently the hottest Canuck. I mean, on the scoresheet. He's on a bit of a roll offensively, but it's hard to tell because he looks like a slug out there most of the time.

 
At December 12, 2007 at 12:35 AM , Anonymous reinanda said...

Wow, did you just say that Pyatt is the "hottest canuck right now" Please let me quote that!!!!

 
At December 12, 2007 at 12:46 AM , Blogger Zanstorm said...

ha! don't misquote me, princess of darkness :)

 

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Waiting For Stanley was created in June 2006.