As they shook hands after the All Star Game shootout, where Ovechkin made Luongo look silly, Roberto said something to Alexander. Ovechkin looked a little confused and awkwardly smiled and then skated away. What do you think Louie said? Use your imagination! No censorship here!(This is what happens when there is too much downtime from Canucks hockey. I get bored.)
I'll start this off.
Luongo: "They call me the Italian Stallion. What do they call you?"
Ovechkin: "Horse killer!"
Luongo: "Your teeth distracted me. I couldn't focus on your shootout attempt. Jesus, man, can't find a dentist?"
Luongo: "I would have tried harder to stop your shootout attempt, but I didn't want to aggravate my groin."
Ovechkin: "I aggravate your groin some other time then."
Tech Tags: Luongo Ovechkin All+Star+Game caption+contest
In reference to Joe Thornton's recent comments, in which he named Luongo as one of the "hot" players in the league:
ReplyDeleteLu: "Jeez, I wonder why Joe didn't mention you as one of the better looking guys in the league."
Ovie: "Hey, thanks, Roberto...Wait..."
Luongo - Your momma's so ugly... YOUMAMA-WEEN!!! Wait...
ReplyDeleteAO - Wha?
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Luongo - That didn't go in.
AO - It most certainly did, sir, as you shall see on the replay.
Luongo - Damn
Luongo: "I see you get that teeth disorder from your mom's side of the family."
ReplyDeleteOvechkin: "I see you get your penis from YOUR mom's side of the family!"
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Luongo: "I have more hair on my ass than you do on your face!"
Lou: "You got any more of that gum you were chewing during the team intros?"
ReplyDeleteOvie: "Yeah. I got piece stuck to my ass. Here...I bend over for you."
Lou - I didn't recognize you without the hat.
ReplyDeleteAO - I didn't recognize you without your groin.
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Luongo - Does this mean I lost the game?
AO - Aren't you used to that by now?
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Lou - Really, I'm all healed up. Totally.
AO - Dude, you suck.
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Lou: "I know a great bar around the corner. Can I buy you a drink?"
ReplyDeleteOvie: "Ho Kay!"
Lou: "And then when you're good and relaxed, I'm gonna shove this stick up your ass as far as it will go. Maybe further."
Lou: "Jee-zus! It smells like shit in here. Did you just fart?"
ReplyDeleteOvie: "Yah. Is pretty good, eh?"
(I'm on a roll...)
Lou: "Christ, Ovie...you made me crap my pants!"
ReplyDeleteOvie: "I always crap pants before game. Iss Russian tradition."
Ovechkin: "You like my goal, no?"
ReplyDeleteLuongo: "You take english lesson, no?"
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Luongo: "Hey, do that thingy again where you spit gravy through that gap in your front teeth."
Ovechkin: "Hey do that thing again where you do the splits like a little girl and hurt your private parts!"
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Luongo: "I think I saw you mom in the stands. She was the obese woman with the 'I love you, Sid' T shirt on."
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Luongo: "I hear that Russian families sit in sauna's together naked. So...did you get any?"
Lou - Get the hell out of here.
ReplyDeleteAO - Yeah, one of us has an interview to give.
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Lou - You will never score on me like that again.
AO - In Soviet Russia, I score on YOU!!
Lou - What?
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Lou - My pads are not the hammer. (pause) The hammer is my penis.
AO - No wonder you hurt your groin.
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Lou - I wasn't even supposed to be here today.
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Luongo: "You're so ugly, when you sit in the sand, the cats try to bury you!"
ReplyDeleteOvie: "I no get it"
Luongo: "OK, try this one: You're so ugly, you mother had to get drunk before she breast fed you."
Ovie: "MMMM...breasts. Ovie like boobies."
Luongo: "You know what? Forget it. Good game."
Tapeleg....you so mean!
ReplyDeleteAO - Is number on your back also your save percentage?
ReplyDelete---------
Lou - Thanks, ass. I didn't come here to lose a game.
AO - Right, you could have stayed home and done that.
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Lou - You aren't going to win the car, you know.
AO - I know, and I was going to let your mom ride in the back. It's the only place she would fit.
Lou - Quit making fun of my mom!
AO - She has a bigger five hole than you.
Lou - Shut up!
AO - I used less moves to score on your mom! Zing!
Lou - In Soviet Russia, my mom scores on you. HA! (pause) wait...
Zan - This is why I started hockey blogging.
ReplyDeleteAO - You know, they could use a goalie of your ability in the KHL.
ReplyDeleteLou: "Think you'll get any tonight?"
ReplyDeleteOvie: "No. Sister not here."
______
Lou: "You got that vodka you promised me if I let you score on me?"
Ovie: "Yah."
Lou: "Well it better not be that shitty potato water you gave me last time."
______
Lou: "Don't say anything stupid. I'm still wearing that mic."
Ovie: "I call Mama?"
_____
(They're getting lamer, aren't they?"
Lou: "You got a girlfriend back home?"
ReplyDeleteOvie: "Nah. Goat named Malkin."
______
(Okay, really. I hear my life calling...)
"Shitty potatoe water"? haha. Never heard of that one before!
ReplyDeleteTapeleg: them were great times!
Thanks for all the ideas and fun you peoples.
Luongo: "Hey dickhead, I got a link for you. Check this out.
Ownage. Suck it later."
(Russian vodka is made from potatoes. But you knew that, right?)
ReplyDeleteT minus 36:22:14 and counting. All systems are go. (Thank fucking Christ!)
I'm sick of waiting too. Dammit let's get it on already!
ReplyDeleteThe players apparently needed the break, or so they say. Woody didn't injure himself surfing..
Demitra is still out with a sore groin, YAY!
Hey! You're up...er, I mean, awake. What's the occasion?
ReplyDeleteGroin, groin, groin. Funny word. Try it: Groin, groin, groin...
I didn't know that hockey was so much about the groin (or 'grointz' as Mats would say) or I might have started watching sooner.
Validation word: scarid, as in "I'm scarid they're going to lose tomorrow."
Don't read too much into the word verifications! haha.
ReplyDeleteI'm not scared. It's Nashville after all and the team had a nice break.
Yep, it's Nashville after all.
ReplyDelete