Friday, October 20, 2006

Forsberg's new protective hockey attire


Forsberg is hurt again. This time it's his wrist. Bobby Clarke has ordered him to wear this new armour attire for the remainder of his stint with the Flyers.
The Montreal Canadiens players have already ordered 23 of them. However, the armor has alot of pros and cons.

Pro's

- the suit can withstand a Chris Pronger slapshot from close range.
-it makes a cool banging sound when a player wearing it is checked into the boards.
-Sean Avery will break his limbs if he hits you. Everybody wants to see that.
-a player wearing the suit cannot be hooked or held up because it is too slippery. This will eliminate obstruction calls in the future.
-players are injury-free, or their money back. Ironman record in jeapordy.
-player looks like a hero. Girls love heroes. Scoring is a given.
-say your name is William Wallace. That will scare the shit out of everybody, except the girls.

Cons

-not very flexible.
-not very breathable. You'll sweat like a hooker in church.
-impedes a player's speed
-difficult to hop over the boards for a line change.
-impossible to get up after falling down.
-jersey doesn't fit over top of it.
-the guys are going to laugh at you.
-did I mention the guys are gonna laugh at you?

10 Comments:

At October 20, 2006 at 9:22 a.m. , Anonymous j tron said...

Speaking of Avery.... I read a really good interview with him in this month's issue of TORO Magazine. Kinda portrays him as 'misunderstood'... I dunno, see for yourself @ www.toromagazine.ca

 
At October 20, 2006 at 11:11 a.m. , Blogger Sherry said...

The guys who end up laughing at him needs to see what it's like to be injured 5000 times before they do any finger pointing :P.

Seriously though, I'm convinced Forsberg is held together by duct tape and prayers at this point.

 
At October 20, 2006 at 12:05 p.m. , Blogger Zanstorm said...

Duct tape and prayers? Hilarious!

J Tron, thanks for the link, I'll check it out.
Funny how so many assholes say they are 'misunderstood' as a cop out.

 
At October 20, 2006 at 12:09 p.m. , Blogger Temujin said...

You could probably replace Forsberg's face with Lindros, Nolan, Roberts, Nieuwendyk, Belfour...

Hmmm, wonder what they all have in common.

 
At October 20, 2006 at 12:45 p.m. , Blogger Zanstorm said...

That's a good Avery article. I respect his musical taste. I'll put a post up about it tomorrow.

Jin...you forget the worst culprit Saku Koivu! I guess you weren't thinking straight with all that former Leaf bashing! haha
Hey, I STILL miss Roberts in TO

 
At October 20, 2006 at 1:44 p.m. , Blogger Temujin said...

True dat on Koivu! In all honesty I'm still bummed about the game I went to on Tuesday, and I'm merely projecting my anger on the Leafs. I offer my apologies, and ask that you not take it personally :-)

 
At October 20, 2006 at 2:30 p.m. , Blogger Zanstorm said...

I would still be pissed too.
But rejoice, you get to see Ovechkin on the 27th!
Watch him get injured on the 25th, and the Canucks lose 2-0 with Sabourin in net.
Then you'll probably need someone to kill you to put you out of your misery.

 
At October 20, 2006 at 3:59 p.m. , Blogger Tapeleg said...

Nice, but I don't think it will help. Boy in the bubble has more fortitude.

 
At October 20, 2006 at 7:31 p.m. , Blogger Temujin said...

That would be quite something if Sabourin gets the start... gads I'll be pissed if that happens.

Geezus Murphy James Mary and Joseph... I paid enough for the tix I might as well get to see Luongo!

 
At October 21, 2006 at 1:28 p.m. , Blogger Zanstorm said...

I actually thot of putting him in a bubble, but that was hard to do.

 

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Waiting For Stanley was created in June 2006.