Tuesday, August 01, 2006


I still can't believe long time Pittsburgh Penguins announcer Mike Lange was fired this summer by Fox Sports Network, who controls the television rights to the team. Lange was the colorful play-by-play icon for thirty years with the Penguins, best known for his wacky one-liners. Imagine how pitiful it would have been for Penguin fans to have some average wanker calling the games thru all those lean years.

Although we don't get to see a lot of the Penguins games up here, it was always cool to hear his unforgettable quips during the evening highlights, which happened much more frequently last year with "Sid the Kid" in town.

Meanwhile Bob Cole continues to babble on, two plays behind the action and that Phoenix Coyotes announcer Bob Heetuis, who sounds like he should be calling a Steer Auction, slaughters (pun intended) each and every game.

Apparently Lange was offered the Radio play-by-play job by the Penguin organization after Paul Steigerwald, who's getting Mikes old job, vacated it. I couldn't find out anywhere if Lange has accepted this position or not.

Here's a link if you want to sign a petition to get Mike Lange his job back.

There's a ton of awesome Mike Lange quotes out there but these are my faves:

"Scratch my back with a hacksaw!"
"He's throwing out checks like it's the first of the month!"
"Donna needs a donut!"
"Buy Sam a drink and get his dog one too!"
"He doesn't know whether to cry or wind his watch!"
"He's all over 'em like a new pair of shoes!."
"He takes the heat out of a hot kitchen!"
"Michael, Michael, Motorcycle"
"Oh slap me silly Sidney!"
"Get that dog off my lawn!"
"Upstairs, top shelf............where they keep the peanut Butter!"
"Ladies and gentlemen, Elvis has just left the building!"


At August 1, 2006 at 3:44 p.m. , Blogger reality check said...

We should make up a list of sayings Mike Lange could incorporate into games afetr a hit or goal.

Only one rule - it has to be stupid and it can't make sense!

I'll start:

Well butter my donkey with a pitchfork Mama, the beans are on the stove!

At August 1, 2006 at 5:14 p.m. , Blogger Earl Sleek said...

Bergman had a great listing of Lange quotes also.

Oh, and on RC's 'make-em-up' quotes,

"Sweet Mel Gibson! Who put Payback on his Netflix queue?!"

At August 1, 2006 at 5:49 p.m. , Blogger Zanstorm said...

He undressed him like a hot chick in humid weather!

Sundin SCORES! That's the best back hander I've seen since I hit Reggie for insulting my mother!

At August 1, 2006 at 7:52 p.m. , Blogger reality check said...

Poor Mel! LMAO Hows about...He jewed him like Mel Gibson at a yard sale!

My all time Lange will always be...He's smiling like a butchers dog!

At August 1, 2006 at 7:58 p.m. , Blogger Stormbringer said...

A Penguins TV broadcast without Mike Lange doing play-by-play is just as much blasphemous as a Canes TV broadcast without John Forslund doing PBP. Forslund may not have nearly as many classic quotes as Lange has conceived, but he is a damn good announcer. AND it *really* shows if you get Center Ice and look at the Fox Sports broadcasts other than Pittsburgh and South...those two not only blow the other FSNs out of the water, they pulverize them.

But back to solely Mike Lange...looking at Pens games on FSN Pitt is just never going to be the same. At the risk of practically crying myself to sleep tonight, I may have to look at one of my Pens Stanley Cup tapes/DVDs to hear those golden words of Mike's. I never got to see those games until at least ten years after the fact, and words *still* took my breath away, be it in awe or laughter.

I think I sum it all up when I say...

"Elvis has left the building!"

At August 1, 2006 at 8:15 p.m. , Blogger Hodge said...

Yeah Bergman's is a good read, figured this one would have been covered but wanted to vent about it . It was one of those "questions without answers" days, yah know. Like, why did the crew of the Andrea Gail, in the movie "The Perfect Storm" have to die....... ok, I know it was based on a true story but I didn't know that at the time.


"Get in the lifeboat, this ones gonna hurt!"

At August 1, 2006 at 9:00 p.m. , Blogger Zanstorm said...

Stormbringer, I got those Penguins Cup wins on tape as well, but our very own Bob Cole and Harry Neale did the game for Canadian tv. They were ok, but it's too bad, because I can especially picture Lange calling that final Pens game versus the Hawks. That is still one of the best games I've ever seen...especially when Hasek went in replacing Belfour.

At August 1, 2006 at 9:19 p.m. , Blogger Temujin said...

Hasek replaced who?

Oh, nevermind :-)

At August 1, 2006 at 9:47 p.m. , Blogger Zanstorm said...

dang it! I knew this would happen when I typed that!

At August 1, 2006 at 9:48 p.m. , Blogger Temujin said...

Bwa hahaha! I knew that you knew that was going to happen.

Oh, the hilarity of it all.

At August 1, 2006 at 10:10 p.m. , Blogger Zanstorm said...

Now I'm confused.....


"Get in the lifeboat, this ones gonna hurt!"

Witty indeed! This was a great idea by RC!

Lemieux one-times it...he scooores! Oh get the screwdriver, honey...this house is coming down!!

At August 1, 2006 at 10:47 p.m. , Blogger Temujin said...

"He was hit so hard his kids will be born dizzy"

Oh. My. Stars.

I am officially a better person now.

At August 1, 2006 at 11:25 p.m. , Anonymous Hodge said...

"The kid's so fast, the ice is mad"

"It's in the net......sing fat lady"

"He's happier than a dog licking himself"

"Call Stanley.....before you forget the number"

At August 2, 2006 at 9:45 p.m. , Blogger reality check said...

Slap that monkey all the way to bank, Annie, there's a hook on that leash!

What a move, I think he hung him with his own jockstrap!

He fleeced him so bad he's looking for the wool!

He breezed by Tie Domi so fast it respelt his name as ME IDIOT!

JAGR, JAGR, tell me how did ya bag her?

He'll find Jimmy Hoffa before he figures how that got by him!

He's got more moves than ExLax on steroids!

If he was any smoother he'd be Jessica's leg!

Sweeter than molases on cheerleaders asses!

Ok that's it for tonights brain crevis cruising, Some of these would get Lange fired all over again!

At August 3, 2006 at 4:54 a.m. , Blogger Ingmar "W" Bergman said...

I loved Mike Lange, and I'll definitely miss him.

Unfortunately that's the way the media works. It's all about "renewal", and Lange's tenure with the Pens is one of the longest in pro-sports history.

"He beat him like a coherent sentence beats the president"

How's that for incoherent? ;)


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Waiting For Stanley was created in June 2006.