Monday, August 07, 2006

MORE DRUNKEN PREDICTIONS FROM ZANSTORM

Hey! I'm back for another drunken rant about hockey. I'm feeling a little pissed tonight because I lost a game of poker to a bunch of attention-deficited rookie pieces of crap! So I will spare no one tonight...
Tomorrow is B.C. day, so all of you lucky pilgrims in B.C. don't have to work tomorrow, unless you are a poor union-enslaved worker, or you work in a capitalist industry that fears shutting their doors down for one single day because they might lose out on the almighty dollar! (or both!)
So, what to rant about under the influence...hmmm....ok NO Panthers praising tonight...so how about I make a few bold predictions, even though it isn't October yet!

1. The Flyers will take over the Atlantic division this year because the Devils will lose either Gionta or Gomez. My guess is Gionta! (and Mogilny..and Malakhov) The Devils will cease their domination because the Salary Cap says so!!!

2. The Predators will take over the weak Central Division. And the Red Wings...for the first time in an eon will settle for 2nd. The Preds will finish 3rd in the Western Conference.

3. The Ducks will take over the Pacific division, with the Sharks barely trailing behind them and the Stars finishing 3rd. The Ducks will also take over the Western Conference, finishing 1st overall. The Pacific division isn't really a piece of cake is it?

4. What about the Canucks? That's easy... The Flames will dominate the Northwest Division, and the Oilers will finish second. The Canucks fourth, and they will miss the playoffs. Am I full of shit? No, I'm a realist! They have lost too much on D and up front and haven't done shit to replace the gaps left behind. (Unless you think Chouinard or Pyatt are going to be the second coming of Briere) Nope..uh-uh!! Trading away Naslund for some depth might change my mind!

So let me give my final standings for the East and West at this point of the game...

EASTERN CONFERENCE

1. Senators
2. Hurricanes
3. Flyers
4. Sabres
5. Canadiens
6. Panthers
7. Bruins
8. Devils
*******************
9. Rangers
10. Lightning
11. Thrashers
12. Leafs
13. Islanders
14. Penguins
15. Capitals

WESTERN CONFERENCE

1. Ducks
2. Flames
3. Predators
4. Sharks
5. Stars
6. Red Wings
7. Avalanche
8. Oilers
******************
9. Canucks
10. Wild
11. Kings
12. Coyotes
13. Blues
14. Blue Jackets
15. Black Hawks

Alright! Now I am going to bed! Let me know if you agree or disagree with my 'much too early' predictions. It's been fun ranting...

9 Comments:

At August 7, 2006 at 3:40 AM , Blogger reality check said...

I see you got the Leafs, cement shoes and all, right where they ought to be. No argument there! I'd flip flop the Bruins and Bolts though. Still too much thunder in TB.

Shit, I can't critique all this! You got it all wrong and it would take hours.

Guess I'll just have to brave an August prediction and we can call each other assholes in April!

By Wednesday I'll yank something off and let you know. Gotta spend a couple of days getting high on Parmesan and Mozza first.

There are many correlations between fromage and hockey. I sniff Parm and think of the Sens; I see Swiss and I see the Leafs. I see old cheese and think of the Flyers. Not because of the color or anything, it's cause they are old cheese!

 
At August 7, 2006 at 5:11 AM , Blogger nuts4pucks said...

If the Flames, Oilers and Canucks are going to finish 1,2,3 in the Northwest Division, with the Canucks missing the playoffs, how do the Avalanche finish 7th in the West?

 
At August 7, 2006 at 6:05 AM , Blogger Earl Sleek said...

I'd hate to think that the same 'liquid influence' that makes the Panthers a playoff team also makes the Ducks top dogs in the West.

It does feel weird that I'm picking the Ducks lower than you are; that's gotta be a first.

I'm a mess in trying to think through rankings. I was going to post on Phoenix and Dallas last night, but the closest thing I could come to that resembled a 'prediction' was that there was a 60% chance that neither of these teams would take the Pacific.

My prediction post might have to involve some 'liquid courage' as well.

 
At August 7, 2006 at 9:18 AM , Blogger Tapeleg said...

Wow, this is not a good commercial for Capt. Morgan's. "Morgan's, making math and reason elusive since the lockout."

I think my brain just exploded looking at that.

 
At August 7, 2006 at 11:22 AM , Blogger Temujin said...

Who do the Senators have in goal? Do you really think the duo of Gerber/Emery are going to lead them to an Eastern conference title?

And you are putting the Habs fifth in the east? Forget about the Cap't Morgs... are you on crystal meth? Was the addition of Mike Johnson really enough to make them better than the much-improved Bruins and the not-so-depleted Devils?

You are also putting way too much stock in Edmonton. They are not a better team than they were last year, yet you have them in 8th place If you ask any honest Oiler fan, they will admit 8th place next season would be a complete miracle. If you think the Canucks will be full of AHL'ers, go check out the DOB for half the Oilers roster!

 
At August 7, 2006 at 11:54 AM , Blogger Hodge said...

It's not the Rum's fault, this guy is just full of shit when it comes to hockey and hockey predictions. Every time I read some of his rubbish, I'm reminded of how desperate hockey fans are for predictions. I just asked my fucking "purple assed baboon" to make some bold predictions and he told me "it's too early, you'd have to be a complete dickhead to predict anything; half the fucking team's are still picking and choosing players for christ sakes"

 
At August 7, 2006 at 12:18 PM , Blogger Temujin said...

. I just asked my fucking "purple assed baboon" to make some bold predictions

That's not a nice thing to say about her :)

 
At August 7, 2006 at 1:05 PM , Blogger Hodge said...

Ouch...... I'm telling on you and it's not gonna be pretty.

 
At August 7, 2006 at 1:34 PM , Blogger Zanstorm said...

Nuts4Pucks....You're right! That makes no sense does it? So the Canucks will finish 4th in the Northwest! ooo, the horror of it all!

 

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Waiting For Stanley was created in June 2006.