Sunday, August 06, 2006

10 REASONS WHY THE PANTHERS WILL MAKE THE PLAYOFFS IN 06/07


OK, this is the last time I talk about Florida. I was just checking some stats and had to run my mouth again!

1. Gary Roberts had a 69% points per game average last season, which is the most he has had in 6 years. The last time he did that was in '99-00 with the Hurricanes.

2. Joe Nieuwendyk had an 86% points per game average last season, the most he has had since the 97/98 season with the Dallas Stars.

3. Nathan Horton jumped from a 40% PPG average in his rookie year to a 66% PPG average last season as a sophmore. He will only get better this year.

4. Ever since Ed Belfour played his lousy 13 games in San Jose in 96/97, a trend has ensued. Whenever he was traded after that point, his numbers improved drastically. In 96/97, he had 3 wins and 9 losses, a 3.41 GAA, and a .884 save percentage witht he Sharks. The next year in Dallas, he had 37 wins, 12 losses, a 1.88 GAA, and a .916 save percentage.
The same applies to his last year in Dallas in 01/02. He had 21 wins and 27 losses, a 2.65 GAA, and a .895 save percentage. The following year in Toronto, he had 37 wins and 27 losses, a 2.26 GAA, and a .922 save percentage. Last season in Toronto, he had 22 wins and 22 losses, a 3.29 GAA, and a .892 save percentage. See the trend? GOOD, next...

5. Alex Auld had 33 wins and 26 losses, a 2.94 GAA, and a .902 save percentage last season. Roberto Luongo had 35 wins, 30 losses, a 2.97 GAA, and a .914 save percentage. See much difference there? Now, don't talk to me about team defence, see the information I have given you in #4, and go have a cold shower!

6. Jay Bouwmeester had a career year last season. He keeps getting better and better.

7. Olli Jokinen had 89 points in 82 games last season. A career year. He has arrived.

8. Line 1: Bertuzzi-Jokinen-Horton Line 2: Roberts-Nieuwendyk-Stumpel Line 3: Gelinas-Gratton-Weiss Line 4: Kolnik-Olesz-??? Def 1: Bouwmeester-Van Ryn Def 2: Salei-Allen Def 3: Mezei-Kolnik. Pretty decent lineup isn't it? This is all good except I'd throw another experienced forward in there, like Steve Thomas! Yeah that's it!

9. Tampa and Atlanta are weakening.

10. Mike Keenan is GOD!

10 reasons why Florida may NOT make the playoffs:

1. Roberts gets hurt all season long, returns to T.O. on a stretcher to be with Mats and his daughter (fake injury, or bottle thrown by fan!)
2. Nieuwendyk thinks he sees Marchment coming at him, flees off the ice and never returns!
3. Jacques Martin (with his french accent) sends Rotislav Olesz to the minors because he gives up trying to pronounce his name!
4. Nathan Horton finds out he's actually related to Tim Horton, and gets promoted at a new Tim Horton's in Florida-beach side, where all the girls are!
5. NYR Dominic Moore-brother of Steve-tries to suckerpunch Bert-misses-falls on his head-and Bert gets blamed for it and suspended for the season.
6. Bert and Eddie then get drunk and go shopping at Moore's-a fine clothing store for men-looking for Steve Moore. They can't find him, chase out all the employees, torch the place, and do a tribal dance around the fire. They both get long term jail sentences.
7. Bertuzzi complains that Roberts isn't as good of a friend as Naslund is because Roberts hits back when Bert makes fun of him-Bert gets depressed and goes into a slump, making drop passes that constantly end up on the other team's stick.
8. Hurricane strikes-mass evacuation-and the Panthers play the rest of their home games in Vancouver-where the home team will NOT win this year.
9. Keenan shoots Belfour
10. Belfour shoots Keenan

OK now I'm done! It's amazing what a little Captain Morgan's will do to ya! Next I'll tackle Boston!

15 Comments:

At August 6, 2006 at 4:38 AM , Blogger reality check said...

Captain Morgan's! OMG! I think you reverted back to the Corolla days a somked a big fatty!

The second list is hilarious, and likely to happen.

As for the first, stats are meaningless, and facts rule.

Robert's and Nieuwendyk's numbers jumped for the simple reason that they played more on a watered down Panthers team than they did previously on the Leafs. That will not repeat itself again. They had a year off to rejuvenate. This season that luxury was not there to benefit from.

Roberts wants out! Doesn't sound like he's up for a career year by any stretch and buddy Joe N will suffer from it.

Belfour is a walk through a mine field. Auld will not have thesame suppotive D in front of him like he had last year.

Of course, Horton and Bouwmeester are coming into their own. Hopefully it's not negated by all the possible distractions they will face.

Now the Bruins are too easy to pick apart. Let's have the autopsy on the Leafs already!

Have a nice hangover! I know I will!

 
At August 6, 2006 at 10:06 AM , Blogger Tapeleg said...

Captain Morgan's makes you a Panthers fanatic? Have you been drinking it non-stop for a week?

 
At August 6, 2006 at 10:36 AM , Blogger Hodge said...

Nope, I drink it and don't get any silly ideas's. Its the "Leaf" thing for sure.

At least he was sensible enough to give us the 10 why they wont's. I didn't actually read the first half of the post cuz it got boring right after "OK, this is the last time I talk about the Panthers".

 
At August 6, 2006 at 11:06 AM , Blogger Earl Sleek said...

11th reason why the Panthers will miss the playoffs:

There's only so much Captain Morgan's out there available for consumption.

 
At August 6, 2006 at 11:29 AM , Blogger Temujin said...

Jeebus Chrispus, Zanstorm, you posted this at 5:11 in the morning?

I've got so much to say but it doesn't even need saying. The fact that you were schnockering drunk and posting at 5:00am says it all, bwahahaha!

Reality Check has done a nice job, though. It's amazing what sound and sober judgement can do for you!

 
At August 6, 2006 at 1:00 PM , Blogger Zanstorm said...

Tapeleg- actually, I HAVE been drinking it all week! I'm not a fanatic though, not yet. Maybe if they add one more ex- Leaf!

 
At August 6, 2006 at 1:01 PM , Blogger reality check said...

"Sound and sober judgement!"

I did misspell smoked as "somked" and posted an hour after Zandstrom did.

Looks like I'm back at it before him also.

It was about 7 A.M. here in Ontario at the time, and I'd just finished off a six pack of Canadian.

He has more in common with me than he'd probably like to admit.

He's probably a closet Boss fanatic also.

We should have a most drunken post competition just for fun. There's a psychology in this somewhere.

He's about to wake up and read his post and go "I fuckin' wrote that!!!"

 
At August 6, 2006 at 2:40 PM , Blogger zanstorm said...

HAHA! Not a chance! Actually the Cherry post as a draft, so I changed the date and time on it so that it would appear as the top post. I exaggerated that time a little. Then I composed the Panthers post and changed the date and time on that way ahead to 5-something A.M. so it would appear above the Cherry post. Actual time was about 3:30 I believe, BEFORE you devoured a six pack of Canadian! Holy crap! You are crazier than me RC!
Drunken posting? SURE!! We'll make that happen!!
To all who disagree with me on this thing....I say..

Did Canuck fans feel attached to Linden when he went to NY and Washington and Montreal?
Tapeleg, what are your thoughts on losing Forsberg to Philly and Tanguay to the Flames? Do you not feel a bit of inclination to keep an eye on them and somewhere deep inside root for those teams? Even a little?
RC, I don't have an example for you...Lafleur in New York? Carbonneau in Dallas?
Earl-when Selanne and Kariya both played in Colorado?
You all must understand my predicament a LITTLE!
sniff sniff.....

 
At August 6, 2006 at 2:41 PM , Blogger zanstorm said...

RC- nope not a Boss fanatic! Hodge and I were collectively hating on Springsteen last night actually, while kicking a certain dude's ass at poker!

 
At August 6, 2006 at 4:32 PM , Blogger Temujin said...

Uh huh. Talk it up, ass-pirate. I got beat last night to be sure, but I was sicker than a dog and didn't bring my "A" game!

You know you love Springsteen and his liberal left-wing politics. I saw the "Tunnel of Love" poster in your music room, so don't deny it.

6. Bert and Eddie then get drunk and go shopping at Moore's-a fine clothing store for men-looking for Steve Moore.

I should have mentioned this earlier, but this is my favourite one of all. Well Made, Well Priced, Well Dressed. MOORES!

 
At August 6, 2006 at 6:05 PM , Blogger Earl Sleek said...

I'm never tagging Zanstorm again.

First two top 5 lists, and then two top 10 lists.

Haven't I warned you about my short attention span?

 
At August 6, 2006 at 6:11 PM , Blogger Zanstorm said...

Nope! But you have now!!! I doubt I'll do that too often! It takes too damn long!

Temujin- You were sick? You blame illness for that atrocity?

 
At August 6, 2006 at 7:48 PM , Blogger Earl Sleek said...

Still, you can probably lay claim now to the longest list of positives about the Florida franchise since Pavel Bure.

 
At August 6, 2006 at 8:50 PM , Blogger Zanstorm said...

Yeah they probably aren't even that positive in Florida are they? Maybe they don't even know that they got Bertuzzi yet!

 
At August 6, 2006 at 8:56 PM , Blogger Zanstorm said...

Actually, NOT TRUE! Check out the Panthers fan page here for more positivity:
http://flpanthers.blogspot.com/

 

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Waiting For Stanley was created in June 2006.